Hitting the Wall in China

Normally making your VIP’s wife cry is something to be avoided but on this occasion my inner party-monkey was doing triple somersaults of glee.

The group was in Beijing and all we’d told them was that we’d be visiting the Great Wall ‘on the way to dinner’. We were actually having dinner on the Wall itself but they didn’t need to know that, it would be a nice surprise right?

Anyhoo, the coaches arrived at the Wall (which was deserted – all the tourists having gone home at 6pm) and the group was greeted by costumed Chinese warriors barring the way, each holding an evil looking spear adorned with the client’s flag. One word from me and the way was clear, the group set off up the steep steps of the wall.

My carefully planned schedule allowed them half an hour or so to meander upwards meaning that they’d still be within earshot when my drummers and Lion Dance began to entice them back down.

Schedule be dammed, they’d all been watching too many charity walk documentaries and set off as if their lives depended on it. Within 5 minutes the leaders were almost out of sight and unless I took drastic action I’d be eating dinner by myself. I dispatched a round up crew to rein them in……..

The less energetic returned quite quickly and happily stood around surveying the view, watching the Lion Dance and sipping drinks. Finally, everyone was accounted for (bar one but I’ll get to him later) so I gave the nod to the drummers and they began to lead the group down the steps to a part of the wall where we’d set up for dinner.

It had been raining in the morning and the marquee builders had been working all afternoon to set up an amazing tent covering the beautifully set tables (a blessing in disguise as it meant that no one had been able to see the dinner set up while they were scaling the Wall earlier). We had client gobos projected in all directions, a full stage and lighting rig and the catering was being done by St Regis (with one fully white tie and tailed waiter per two guests). It all looked rather stunning – if I do say so myself.

Back to the client’s wife - she took one look and promptly burst into tears. Of course I rushed over, heart in my boots, to see what was wrong only to be caught up in a huge hug and an emotional ‘thank you, thank you, it’s just unbelievable’.

Hence the inner party-monkey’s acrobatics.

The reason for the dinner was to recognize the client’s dealers’ efforts in earning their places on the trip and the entertainment for the night had to be very impressive. We had traditional musicians, a troupe of 14 year old contortionists (I could hear the group gasping in sympathy from backstage), diabolo performers, a 15 strong fan dance and two ‘face off’ performers. Now Face Off is something that just has to be seen to be believed. With each flick of the head or swish of the fan a different mask is revealed, culminating in the client’s logo painted onto the performer’s face. It’s one of the coolest things I’ve seen in a long time and I’ve no idea how it’s done. It’s a centuries old art and they make up in secret to preserve the mystery.

All in all once of the most impressive dinners I’ve ever done and a real career highlight.

But what about the intrepid explorer, last seen disappearing into the hills? He joined us for dinner eventually although the poor guide sent to get him chased him for nearly an hour. (He said later that he kept looking back at this girl in the distance and was amazed at how fit she was – honestly, we were the only people in the area, you’d think he’d guess that she might have been trying to get his attention…..). She eventually caught him and brought him down.

He was invigorated and elated - she didn’t look so hot though, I think she spent the rest of the night recovering on the back seat of one of the coaches.......